Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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