a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I think i got beer on your cat.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
