so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
