Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
