dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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