32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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