the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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