I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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