I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
