Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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