Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
