i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
