I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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