I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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