So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
