Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
