so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
