Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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