just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
