That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
