Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
