you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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