nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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