no, he came in my armpit
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
