i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
