i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
