I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
