she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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