her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
