Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
