The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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