do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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