Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
