i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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