well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
