used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
