dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
