Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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