I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
