Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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