when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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