I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
