It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
