we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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