States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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