I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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