it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
