i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
