Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
