I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
