It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
