East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
