I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
