I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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