i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
