You can't motorboat a personality
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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