She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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